Absence

It's not the absence of you that brings me pain,

But the regret of missed opportunities that remain.

If only I had known the depth of this sorrow,

I would have cherished our time together more tomorrow.

I would have called you a little more often,

And come back home, my presence not forgotten.

We would have cooked together, day by day,

Your recipes forever in my mind they'd stay.

I would have asked you countless questions, no end,

Listening to your stories, a conversation to extend.

We would have taken long drives in the night,

Holding hands, finding solace in the starlight.

I would have been there, watching your favorite shows,

Sharing laughter and tears, as our love grows.

I would have listened again to your tales of Nabi,

Finding joy in your words, the memories set free.

And I would have kissed your cheeks more than once,

Expressing my love, a tender and loving response.

I wish I could do it all, no matter how small,

To bring comfort to my heart, to answer love's call.

I miss you deeply, with every beat of my heart,

May Allah grant you a place in Jannah, never to part.

I pray for your soul, dear Abah, with all my might,

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin, may your journey be bright.

In your absence, I strive to honor your name,

To live with love and kindness, your legacy to claim.

Forever in my thoughts, forever in my soul,

I carry your love with me, making me whole.

To the person from another world

In this vast universe, O Allah, You are almighty,

Bless him, for he is wise and virtuous, a soul so mighty.

Grant his dreams to soar high, O Allah, hear his plea,

May his aspirations be fulfilled, with blessings abundantly.

His heart, a reflection of his noble grandpa's grace,

Keep it forever tender, in every time and place.

O Allah, preserve his giving hands, always lending aid,

His words bring comfort, joy, and serenity, never to fade.

In moments of doubt, when courage may waver,

O Allah, guide him towards success and favor.

His hazel eyes, a radiant light, his smile divine,

May his presence bring solace, like a heavenly sign.

O Allah, the Most Loving, shower him with affection,

Even if love is not from mine, let him experience its perfection.

O Allah, with Your divine touch,

As I express my admiration for him, I cherish so much.

Put yourself first.

Recently I go through my online reading and I would love to share more words from one of my favourite islamic scholars that might helps and lift up us—

“A friend will not share your struggles, and a loved one cannot physically take away your pain, and a close one will not stay up the night on your behalf. So look after yourself, protect yourself, nurture yourself and don't give life's events more than what they are really worth. Know for certain that when you break no one will heal you except you, and when you are defeated no one will give you victory except your determination. Your ability to stand up again and carry on is your responsibility. Do not look for your self worth in the eyes of people; look for your worth from within your conscious. If your conscious is at peace then you will ascend high and if you truly know yourself then what is said about you won't harm you”

Live your life with this principle: Be good even if you don't receive good, not because for other's sake but because Allah Loves those who do good."

— Imam Ibn al-Qayyim

The beauty of HOPE.

  

   I walked in 2021 believing this year is a better year. Things choose to happened differently. For the very moment in my life, I have no control over it at all. I do a plan, do it again, and do it again just to fit the circumstances and help myself. Every light that I happened to fire, there will comes a wind blows it away.

My best companion, the person that I love dearly in my heart leaving for good and only time and time alone will bring us as one or to an end. Despite of our abundance plans, Allah plan is better, much better than our limited human thinking.

Its been more than half year I couldn't see the shininess of my mom's eyes, and hear the warm words of my dad. This pandemic leaving most of us with no choice but to just stay inside. I miss going to work and my daily conversation with the people I met. I miss the chirping birds from the narrow road I used to cycling every weekend. I miss the noise of the city. I miss the laughs of my friends. I don't want to bring myself to the point of hopeless even I need to wake up every morning doing the exact same thing as yesterday. 

The sunlight from where I wake up should lightening my day but, it's become rather grey.

—I wish for a good news. At least just one good news.

Despite of trapped in this small caves, I find the beauty of waiting and hoping. I cannot wait for what Allah had prepared for me in my future.  

People might left me, but Allah might gonna make us meet again in such a beautiful way. Even so, I'm taking all the good from that person, I cannot thank enough for how much that specific person changes me and because of that person, I find a better me, a stronger version of myself and I had this "new me". This new me that I believe ready enough to be brings goodness to everyone that will cross my path.

I cannot wait to meet my family and celebrate. Distance make me exhaustedly appreciate the time I had with them so so much more. I cannot wait the day I will be back to my business. I cannot wait to find a new house and make it as much as I want it to be for myself. This loneliness make me know myself more. This loneliness make me love myself more. This loneliness correcting my path of what I should be. I cannot wait for moment we can make a step and move a little bit further, when all of our step will no longer be restrict and to that point I already travel the world.

For Allah is the most hearing.

فَإِنَّ مَعَ ٱلْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

So verily, with the hardship, there is relief (94:5)

T.